Being The Change

Tears Are the Leaves Of Our Soul’s Autumn

“Men must live and create. Live to the point of tears.”

Albert Camus

So many people are asking me right now what I intend to do once in Ireland. My answer is always: “living”. 

Living and Being are the two things that I am already practicing and that I want to deepen once there. 

To live means to embrace the human experience to the fullest; to feel and hear and taste and touch and smell. To live means to fully immerse into the experience. It means to feel fear and sadness and love and joy. It means to not try to suppress some feelings just because they are uncomfortable.

To live means to dive into the waves of change and let the forces of the ocean carry me towards the next shore. It means to soak up the various wonders of nature with my whole being. To stop and smell the roses. To live means more than just to breathe and try to survive. To live means to understand the principles of the universe. To live means to love. 

Being is the awareness that we are more than just our human bodies. It means that through those moments of centring inwards we connect to our inner well of power which then creates magic. Being means to live in the present moment. When we combine living with being, we are creating life. Being means to express our true self, our authentic voice that so often gets clouded by the conditions that we put on ourselves and that others put on us. Being means to be a body in a soul.

My experience of living in the moment is coloured with waves of emotions. Leaving the country includes not only sitting with my own feelings that come up when I pack up stuff and prepare for the change, it is also tainted with the feelings of the people around me. The ones that I love dearly and that love me.

“It is always easier for the one who leaves,” someone said to me. I agree with that and I remember vividly being on the other side when my big sister ventured to the USA after finishing school, a long time ago. So if we are going through big changes we are not only dealing with our own feelings, but also with the grief, sadness and fear of our environment. How do I navigate this? There is only one way. 

As I have learned that I am not responsible for other people’s emotions, I can acknowledge their pain and still not make it my own. I can honour that my moving is moving their inner world. Every time we change something in our internal or external world, we create ripples that are affecting others. How they react to those waves that we are making is not in our control. However, we can allow them to react in their very own way. The clearer we are about what we want and how to go about something, the easier it is to stay centred when everyone else is running around headless. 

“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts.”

Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

Letting go is a process. It takes time and lots of compassion. At times I am overwhelmed with the love that surrounds me at the moment. People that are constantly telling me that they will miss me like crazy. People that tear up the moment they see me. I can only let it go through me. How? I cry. A lot. Almost everyday. Am I unhappy? No.

You see, I think we often think if someone cries it is a bad thing when it is just our body releasing energy. We immediately want to soothe the other person. We want to make it go away. Crying is human. It is part of living. So why not cry together and experience life to the fullest. The most beautiful moments of connection often include crying. Tears of pain, of sadness, but also of laughter, happiness, reverence and love. I also cry when I witness the beauty of nature, by the way. Crying is a prayer.

In moments of change we can stand strong in our core. We can know that we are deeply rooted, no matter where life takes us. A tree doesn’t worry about its falling leaves as they'll inevitably be back in spring. May the tears fall like leaves. May they nourish the earth with the seed of life. May they cover the ground in gratitude and provide shelter for the little ones. May we relax into the natural rhythm of letting go.

Hello tree

I watch you
standing there
proud
and strong
beauty
in its purest
form

everyone
of you
unique
noone
fits
the norm

I see you
turning yellow and red
providing
hedgehogs
a comfy bed

I hear you
whispering
a song of
love
your branches
paint
the sky
above

I feel your
wisdom
warm
my soul
reminding me
that I am
whole

I taste
your moisty
autumn 
moss
that softly
protects
your roots
from
loss

Tell me,
tree
do you grieve
as you let go
of all
your leaves?

You let 
them go
home

one

by 

one

until they
are
completely
gone

Tree,
do you cry
as time
flies by?
Is it hard
to 
drop
your guard?

And when
you’re naked
are you
cold?


Is it hard
to drop 
the gold?

Do you
feel
the time
unfold?

Does your
core
agree to 
more?

Is all this
happening
of your
own 
free will?

How can
you
stand
so very still?

Tree, 
can you teach me
please be gentle
please be tender

how to 
let 
go


how to 
surrender?

©Sadhbh Adamea 

What do you want to let go of?

How is your relationship with change?

Let me know!

Thank you so much for reading!

I wish you a wonderful week!

Lots of love,

Sadhbh